Depression is hard, because some days you feel like you’re doing fine and other days you’re fighting to get out of bed.
And you smile really big, shine a little bright, sometimes just so the world thinks you’re alright. Some days you believe that too.
I thought if I wasn’t here anymore, that it would’ve made no difference. That no one would miss me and that I would be better off.
And if I thought I was right and I left too soon,
I would’ve missed out on helping the sweetest woman paint her building next door, all for a turkey sandwich and a coke. It was worth it for the way the cheese melted perfectly. And how crispy the toast was, made it extraordinary.
I would've missed out on a couple of fair rides and over priced lemonade. Sitting in the swings, watching the sunset, and seeing my friends beautiful souls smiling wide.
I would’ve missed out on falling in love with the world again and in turn falling in love with myself for the first time. Even missed out on all the miles I’d been driving and the places I had been finding myself in. All the beauty in the ugly things.
I would’ve missed out on realizing that the light isn’t always the brightest, however; it always shines. It shines in the darkest hours and you’re strong enough to pull through.
And you do, because no matter how rough the waves get you stay awhile. So that you can see how beautiful the world can really be.