I have been dealing with depression for more than half my life. It started when I was young, I was always miserable, angry and sad and I didn't know why. When you are a young child, it's hard to articulate your feelings, how you feel. Into my teen years, my depression got worse and I didn't know how to handle or what to do, even my loved ones didn't know what to do with me.
I've come close twice in taking my life. July 2010 was an extremely trying month for me. I was sexually assaulted twice by an acquaintance. After the second time I was assaulted, I remember driving. I was so close to driving into a tree and ending my life, however something inside me told me to stop. Unfortunately it took me years later to acknowledge what has happened to me. In the winter of 2019, I went through another traumatic event, which brought up old memories, which also brought up suicidal thoughts. The thing that saved my life? Therapy. The therapist I started seeing was a male, which made me uncomfortable at first because I had been violated by a man. One day during a session I opened up about the assault and broke down in tears, and screams came out of my mouth. He, my therapist, let me cry and scream it out for 10 minutes. The support and gentleness that he displayed was so reassuring. He told me immediately that he was so sorry that happened, he said he believed me, and that it was my story and that nobody could take it from me.
To my fellow survivors and warriors, I see you and stand with you.
There is no shame in reaching out and saying that you need help. None at all.
You are here for a reason. Your story isn't over.