A Low Speed Pursuit To Millheim, Pennsylvania
A rented Dodge Challenger, (lovingly called the 'boatmobile' due to it's size) desperately trying to avoid the Amish buggies I shared the road with. 'Sleepwalker' by State Faults pumps through the sound system as I hate where I am in life. I took a job, something that should have been a literal dream. 2,000 miles from home, near a coast I've never known.
I was in hell, central PA.
I Spent My Hotel Nights Alone, Browsing Instagram
Reels kept popping up, things all relevant to my interests. Things I loved. Cooking and art, music and jazz dudes slapping bass riffs. This new life I had found myself in, just wasn't who I was.
I hadn't touched Therdune in months, still suffering from months-long burntout. But these hotel nights made me realize that I had to come back to who I was. To pursue the things I cared so deeply about. This job, these people, none of it was anything I was passionate about. At least not anymore.
I had to find myself again. I had to be honest about who I wanted to be.
A few days later I was skateboarding through Newark Airport, New Jersey, the day before Thanksgiving. I was finally heading back home, thank God. I was ready to work again, and ready to get back to sense of normalcy in my life.
You Have A New Message Request
3 days after arriving back home, I received a message on Instagram. Mind you, I hadn't posted anything in at least 9 months.
The timing of everything. This was a cool moment. Thank you, Steve, for reaching out. This message gassed me up. It made me feel like I was on the right path all along. And my rejuvination for all things Therdune was worthwhile.
At this point I had a title for what this next phase was going to be: "Deathward". The feeling I had while driving into the night toward Millheim. But, all I had was a title, and no sense of direction or any idea of what it meant or what it would look like.
I suppose, maybe I still don't.
Really, All This, Is Just A Love Letter
I don't have a lot of new products or designs to share this time around, and that's okay. If you've been around a while, you'll notice there's a new logo, a rebrand of sorts. Deathward is less about a theme or a storyline, it's more of a homecoming. A celebration of things I love, and a desire to build a community with you all. I've been focusing less on making stuff, instead I've been thinking of things I can do with everyone that comes across Therdune.
I'll be doing events over on my discord, things like listening and viewing parties, music exchange and discssusion. Stuff like that. The past year has been filled with lots of introspection. Thoughts on my own depressed past, and what would have helped me back then. I feel like I'm moving into a proper direction, and I would love nothing more than for you to join me on this adventure.
And for anyone wondering, I've since left that awful job, and I am getting back into a groove with my life. It was just a minor, albiet exhausting and saddening, experience.
