The Floating Worlds, Ukiyo, The Grey Dream
Our last drop, 'DEATHWARD', was an exploration of my life slipping out from under me. Things just went so sideways for me last year. I had wanted to get back to 'self', and re-center my life. I've been making strides to do so, but it has taken more than I first imagined.
For the first time in a decade, I'm taking anti-depressants again.
And it's been fine.
Existence Within The Grey Dreams
I've spent the past few months doing the bare minimum. Bartering with myself to just get up and go to work. If I can just do that, I won't be harsh on myself for not doing anything else.
It's been a mix of going straight to bed after work, or staying up late due to revenge bedtime procrastination. Trying to hang on to some form of control over my life.
But I've noticed a curious thing. My dreams have mostly been filled with pleasant social interactions. Hanging with friends, meeting new people. Just spending time with someone else. A social life I've severely neglected the past year.
And I find myself waking from those grey dreams, and forcing myself back to sleep. Trying hard to get back to those people again.
The Shrouded Continent
I spent some time in San Fransisco. Visited the Meta headquarters. Photoshoots around downtown. It was a good time. A week after I came home, I had my psychatrist appointment.
Things are slowly getting better, although I don't feel all that different. But the fog and mist is starting to clear. And I'm getting my energy back.
I am so excited to share my latest designs with you all. It feels really good to see what I've accomplished. If you're reading this, I would also like to apologize for not being present this last year.
I'm hopeful for the future, and I'll do my best to meet your expectations of me. I appreciate you being here.
[YOU ARE HERE]
Lastly, I would like to write a message for everyone in my Instagram group chat, my Discord, my DMs, emails, and personal messages.
Each and every one of you have been so kind to me. It's been so wonderful getting to know you all. I love having a crew that I can bounce ideas off of. Or just vent and send memes. There's been days where I don't have the energy to look at my phone. But in my absence, my phone still blows up. It makes me so happy to see everyone in my group chats talk amongst themselves when I'm not there. It gives me hope that I'm doing the right thing.